Daily Meh is an edited stream of consciousness, by Simen.

In Bruges (2008)

Marie: Why don’t you both put your guns down, and go home?
Harry: Don’t be stupid. This is the shootout.
Ray: Harry, I’ve got an idea.
Harry: What?
Ray: My room faces out the canal, right? I’m going to go back to me room, jump into the canal, see if I can swim to the other side and escape.
Harry: All right.
Ray: If you go outside around the corner, you can shoot at me from there and try to get me. That way we’ll leave this lady and her baby out of the whole entire thing.
Harry: You completely promise to jump into the canal? I don’t want to run out there, come back in ten minutes, and find you fucking hiding in a cupboard.
Ray: I completely promise, Harry. I’m not going to risk having another little kid dying on me.
Harry: So, hang on - I go outside and I go which way? Right or left?
Ray: You go right, don’t you? You can see it from the doorway! It’s a big fucking canal!
Harry: All right. Jesus. I only just got here, haven’t I? Okay, on the count of one, two, three, go. Okay?

In Bruges was fun. Unfortunately, whatever you quote from it will simultaneously spoil a good joke and not be as good as seeing it in context, but I decided to quote anyway.