Daily Meh is an edited stream of consciousness, by Simen.

How to Compute Your Sarcasm Quotient (SQ)

Let me tell you, internet people might not have the largest IQs, but they sure have the greatest SQs the world has seen. Since the internet is the future, I’m gonna petition my government to get them to consider SQ testing of all school children. Those that show special skills in this area can then be singled out for higher-level sarcastic classes, in which they will be required to decipher the week’s homework from the teacher’s sarcastic remarks. It’ll be great.

Anyway, here’s how you do it:

1. Pick up a pencil.
2. Write down an account of your day. If you’re doing it in the morning, write down an account of the previous day.
3. Take a five minute break.
4. Come back, then analyze your text line by line. For every line that has a double meaning, one skin-deep meant to be believed by idiots and one meant to be read and understood by your equals, move three meters up in the landscape (if you’re on a mountain, that means walking; if you’re in a building, that means climbing stairs).
5. When you’re finished, jump from your current position to the ground (out a window, or something).

I am confident that this method will single out the men and women of the future.